Issue No 1
April 1, 2001
LIBERTADMIAMI.COM
THE ELIAN GONZALEZ STORY IS A HOAX!!!
Do you believe in moon shots?
Did Oswald act alone?
The truth will amaze you! Our crackpot reporters uncover the truth. After months of research, the story can now be told!!
The Plan, the Timing, the Winners and Losers. Former Clinton Administration members have revealed an unbelievable inside account of the conspiracy to make peace with Cuba.
Elian was born on vacation in Peoria, Illinois to a Puerto Rican mother and a Cuban father. The Grandchild of a known Batista insider, it has been learned by these crackpot reporters, his father worked as a Secret Agent Enemy SPY for the Revolution winner Castro. The family immigrated to America where Elian's father eventually landed a job in the Clinton Administration. After dropping his wallet in front of CIA headquarters a government official searched it and discovered he was working as a double secret agent enemy spy! Elian was removed from his home by Child Protective Services because spies don't make good parents. All that lying, killing, and sex, you know. Talks soon began in secret with the official Cuban Government in Havana for his return. The Plan was hatched.
The PLAN
....to create political turmoil and revive revolutionary feelings in Cuban American immigrants. While doing so, a peace initiative could be put in place. As Cuban American Immigrants protested in the streets, showing the average American there irrationabilityly (read "stupidity"), talks began to end the policy of starving all Cubans into Democracy. According to a secret Government informant, it has been unofficially acknowledged Castro won the Revolution 41 years ago, although Cuban American Immigrants still believe it is an ongoing battle. With the right distractions, the Plan could work because the average American would like to feed the children. Even those cute Cuban children! Clinton would win a Nobel Peace Prize in his final year in office.
The PLAYERS
Clinton, hoping to win a Nobel Peace Prize
Castro, hoping to sell cigars to America
Janet Reno, a native Miamian who couldn't believe what was happening
Crazy Joe, Banana Republic Monarch
The Gonzalez Family, chosen unwittingly due to the families instability -- the fainting, the hospital stays, the hysteria -- were all needed distractions.
Denado - more hysteria
The large Hebrew-American attorney
AND MANY MORE.....
The TIMING
Picking days that would forever relate to the Plan -- Thanksgiving Day for the boy to be found; Easter Weekend to take him away. Throw in the Virgin Mary and you have God and Country. "Brilliant", said a former administration employee, "Wars have been fought for less."
The WINNERS
Castro -
who actually won the Revolution 41 years ago will now get recognition from the US Government.
Cheese for all the children
US Government money to rebuild infrastructure and Favored Nations trading status (just like China)
.....plus the added benefit of Tourism!!
Clinton -
Years from now when history judges his Presidency, it will be the Peace Initiative with Cuba that he will be remembered for...
.....plus his unique uses for Cuban cigars!!
Janet Reno -
Her stable thinking Cuban American friends will always be grateful for the role she played taking the heat from the Revolutionary minded Cuban American Immigrants.
Crazy Joe -
Based on the fact the majority of Revolutionary minded Cuban American Immigrants live in the City of Miami, he will virtually be reelected by pandering to the Revolutionaries!
O.J. Simpson-
Because our crackpot reporters found absolutely NO DNA evidence linking him to the Plan!
The LOSERS
Revolutionary Minded Cuban American Immigrants -
Public opinion will force our Government to acknowledge that it's time for Peace with Cuba!
The EXECUTION of the PLAN
(In upcoming issues)
|